I want to feel your touch

I’m so lonely/ haven’t you heard/ my heart/ it broke/ a long

time ago/ and oh it hurts/ it fucks me up/ because I’d love/

to just feel your touch/ run your fingers/ between my

chest/ let you shut me up/ but stupid me/ my brain

ran you blind/ I suppose you couldn’t deal/ with my

broken mind/ I’m sorry darling/ I’m really sorry/

could you come back?/ I promise I’ll act better/

I do/ I promise/ I promise.




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I lost a night thinking of how I went so wrong

It’s choking me, this absolute guilt

It makes it hard to breathe

And my heart, it thumps and thumps

and thumps so vigorously

trying to escape from my chest

Racing towards an uncertainty

I can’t bear knowing that

I smothered you with pain



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I could trace the creases of your body all night if I had the chance

Every fold in your skin, I could follow it like a perfect map

God, I love this

These nights of just us two

Listening to Fleetwood Mac

Drinking red wine from a bottle

And it almost tastes as good as you

But no amount wine could make me feel so alive

I would drown in a bottle of you.



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Oops, sorry, my mind, it ran away

Was there ever a time I drove you mad/

I’m sure I did/ I always do/ but I’m sure

you’re just too kind to say/ I’m sorry/ I

didn’t mean to/ I never tried to/ my mind/

It likes to play tricks/ you see/ it tells me

people hate me/ all the time/ again and

again/ sometimes/ when no one else is

looking/ I like to burn my skin/ not badly/

of course/ but just enough to make me feel

the pain/ just so I can feel it/ at least I know

it’s real/ am I real/ I’ll never know/ Oops/

sorry/ my mind/ it ran away.



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Why do I feel so old?

Every memory feels like a life time ago,

A life that’s no longer mine.

Chapter after chapter of the same book

But why do the characters keep changing?

And why do I keep changing?

I miss that person.

That child-like innocence,

It was so much easier back then

Before life’s hook got a hold of me.

Just easy.




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As a Woman

The reality is

That my life is controlled

By rules and opinions

Drilled in my head

“Never walk alone, stick with your group”

“That skirt is too short, you’ll never know what they’ll think”

But as a woman

It’s unfair that

I need to constantly worry

What these men may think.

I don’t invite you to touch me,

Why do you feel the need to shout

But as a woman

Society has “owned” me

My whole life.



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