Another Chapter Begins!

This post is a little over due but you’ll see that I’ve been busy as you read on!! A lot has happened these past two months. Firstly, I quit my waitressing job, which, for me, wasn’t an easy decision. I didn’t particularly love the job itself but I loved the people I worked with, who I consider some of my closest friends now. I suppose I also liked the familiarity but I knew I couldn’t stay in that job forever. Secondly, I went to Portugal for two weeks. A well needed holiday with my family to rest before the final big change in my life. Two weeks ago, I moved to Dublin to begin a postgraduate degree in University College Dublin. So far I’m really enjoying the course, which is something I never, really, experienced in my undergraduate degree.

Honestly, I kind of feel, for the first time in a very long time, that things are finally falling into place. I know it’s strange but I think I’d forgotten what it’s like to be genuinely excited for change. Recently, I feel like I’m actually on the path towards something in life, while prior to this I was pretty much floating along, not really sure where I was going or what I was doing. I never enjoyed university when I was studying my undergraduate degree, I didn’t like the class sizes, I felt very lonely, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do afterwards. I decided to work as a waitress for a year afterwards and I lived at home with my parents. I loved the support network but I had zero independence and felt like I wasn’t moving forward with my life. In many ways, I gave up. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and I was scared of taking a chance. I was so terrified of moving on with my life because I thought I’d struggle the same way I did in my undergrad, I felt I needed the support of the people at home! While I knew this was the course I wanted to do it still petrified me to start somewhere new, little did I know I’d end up loving it! On top of all this, only a few days after moving to Dublin, I got offered an amazing job which is so beneficial to my future career goals. I finally have a little luck on my side, I really needed it!!

I guess the main thing I’ve learnt recently is that things, genuinely, do work out even when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom! Even when you feel like your life isn’t where you want or need it to be just keep pushing on and something will come your way. Oh, and never be afraid to take chances and move away from familiarity… sometimes, it’s all for the best!!

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Goodbyes.

I don’t like saying goodbyes.

I’ve come to realise in the last few years that goodbyes usually mean things are never going to be the same again. Like leaving school for the last time, or finishing college, or even moving to a new place of employment…. every time you move onto a new chapter you leave people and memories behind in the last chapter. In hindsight every time I say goodbye to a place I’m realistically saying goodbye to friendships. Of course you plan on staying in touch but from seeing these people everyday to rarely seeing them at all it becomes hard to maintain that same level of friendship; eventually things fizzle out.

In recent years, friendships scare me, possibly because it takes so long to properly build a bond with someone that by the time you become close it’s almost time to say goodbye. I’ve lost a lot of friendships in the last few years; I’ve jumped from chapter to chapter that now it’s become difficult to keep track of old friends. In September I begin a brand new chapter which sadly means having to say goodbye to friends and accept the fact, once again, that several of these people I love and adore will soon become people I share memories with but will eventually lose touch with. I’m terrified of starting again, of finding new people to bond with and create memories with just to once again lose touch with further down the line. Life is messy but I guess if we all just stayed in one place we’d get bored of people!!!

“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”

 ~ Winnie The Pooh