A little poetry update

I’m not sure if anyone in particular has been following my attempts but I’ve been trying to get into the ‘zone’, I think, of writing little poems. I took a creative writing class when I was in my final year of my undergraduate (honestly, it was the only class I was remotely interested in that year) and it kind of got me interested in trying to develop my own poems, or little rambles, as I like to call them! At the moment, I’ve only been able to write very short pieces of poetry but I’ve been quite proud so far of what I’ve pieced together, it’s a little therapeutic if I’m honest.

I’m hoping to, eventually, be able to write a longer piece. They don’t really roll out of my brain and onto paper just yet which is something, I hope, I might be able to do in time, they’re a bit forced right now. Most of them have been inspired by personal things in my life or a little influenced from past experiences but I’ve been experimenting a bit more recently with characters, like trying to put myself into the mindset of someone else and writing from their point of view…this has been a bit tricky though!

Feel free to read a few of them though, and offer some constructive criticism (please be nice). If anyone has any nice tips or tricks they’d like to pass on too that’d be great, I’m still a newbie in the poetry world so I’d like all the help available!! I read recently that often with poetry, it is the thing you’re afraid to write about that you should write about, which is encouraging me to write a lot more, so more tips like that would be lovely. ❤

Here’s a few links to my little poetry-like rambles for those interested: Fix It, Robots, A Creature, Foggy and my most recent, she.

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she.

“Be more like me”

She said,

Because I was never good enough to just be me.

She could never understand how anyone could ever be so quiet, so timid.

Just wanted a puppet on a string, someone to fuck around with.

And I was only a bitter disappointment,

“Too emotional”

I guess.

 
Yeah, do you remember?

I suppose you never felt it, that pain in my brain?

No, you were just too busy fucking me up…

Late Night Thoughts

It’s currently thirty minutes past midnight. I’ve spent pretty much every day over the past week and a half working on assignments for college. To say I’ve been stressed out is an understatement. To be honest, I’m probably putting more stress on myself because I really feel like I want to do well in my course this year, in my undergraduate degree I found myself lacking motivation and any real energy to do well and now that I’ve finally found what I enjoy I’m determined to do better in my assignments. It’s funny I’ve found myself online writing this, instead of taking a break from writing I’ve felt the need to translate my thoughts on here.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I spent several hours just lying awake, stressing about my assignments and an upcoming exam I have next week. I’m an over-thinker and by an over-thinker, I mean I really, really over think things…. I often find myself worrying so much about things that I build up ridiculously scenarios in my head and freak out about them. In the past, I found my only solution to stop this was to block it all out, keep counting to 100 over and over until I couldn’t think anymore. If a thought I didn’t like popped into my head I’d insist on drowning it out with something nicer or easier to deal with. This was great at the start, except it eventually led to more complications. In time, I would never let myself worry about anything at all… I just wanted to pretend like nothing was ever happening and life was great! If only life was great.

To be honest, it is actually a lot easier to care than not care at all, at least when you care you allow yourself to feel something and you can act off your feelings. Sure, at the moment I’m stressed about assignments and exams but at the same time it’s giving me that extra drive to work and do well in something I care about. In two weeks, I’ll be finished up with college for Christmas, I also get two weeks off work so I’ll be heading home to my family for a nice break and to refuel myself. It’s something to look forward to and a little reward after these few weeks of stress, plus, I get to spend some time with my little dog, Heidi!! Now, let’s hope tonight I get a good night of sleep 🙂

 

Simply keep on walking ahead with a cheerful mind and results will come before you realize. #PositiveQuotes #LoveYourself http://www.your24hcoach.com/

 

 

Fix it

I don’t trust you like I used to

I don’t have the same love for you like I used to

Like you didn’t have the same love for me, for us

And now you think you can fix it

“Talk to her”

Like it’ll fix it

But you didn’t think of fixing it until the shit hit the fan

Did you?

A stupid man, made a stupid mess and now he wants to

“Fix it”

Just because the truth came out

Thought you were smart

Eight years of fucking it up.

Cry Baby

I’m an extremely emotional person, so much in that, my family regularly mock me for my uncontrollable habit of breaking into tears at the smallest of inconveniences. It’s incredibly embarrassing, I hate it, but yet, I can’t seem to help it.

Crying has always been my way to express my feelings. When I’m upset, I cry. When I’m angry, I cry. When I’m scared, embarrassed, sometimes even happy, I cry. It seems to be the only way my emotions can express itself when I’m the slightest bit overwhelmed. I obviously don’t want to cry, I find it ridiculously hard to talk about matters I care about or expressing my opinions without shedding a tear. Imagine stating an opinion you care about against someone who disagrees and then breaking into tears when arguing your point… it becomes frustrating and embarrassing and yet, I can’t seem to stop it. I’d like to think I have strong opinions, I care about some things really strongly but I can never state these opinions freely without the fear of getting upset about the matter.

You’d think at twenty-two I’d be able to control my emotions…. 

Foggy

i don’t want to feel so foggy.

i can’t seem to grasp this idea of thinking clearly,

of feeling so clearly

it’s like there’s no more room for thought

my mind, it’s filled with this

powdery, grey haze

powering through my brain

destroying any glimpse of life left

and I don’t know how to make it stop.

 

how do you make it stop?

can you please make it STOP?

Robots

Why is there this need to constantly be perfect?To always follow trends and never look a little broken?

We are reproducing robots, clones with no individuality. Rotting under layers and layers of fashion trends that eventually will be outdated. It’s miserable to think that as individuals we all try to look the same, trying to become somebody we end up being nobodies.

We’ve all just become manufactured robots, all the same.

I’m not magnificent 

I know I spoke about it before but ‘Holocene’, God, I love that song so much. In my post ‘Thoughts from a coffee shop’ I discussed the whole idea of finding the significance in the insignificance which I think is the whole concept behind the song. I kind of discussed finding significance in nature and during the small little moments in life but I never really went into dept about the whole song.

‘Holocene’ is my song. If I was to pick one song, just ONE, SINGLE SONG, to listen to for my whole life on repeat, it would be this song. There’s so many ways to interprete it to be honest. I love the idea that there’s significance in even the smallest of things, like riding your bike on a nice day or a simple hug from a friend, I love these small little things and appreciate them so much. However, there’s so much more to the song… So much more!! 

Justin Vernon pretty much explained the song as realising “you’re special and not special at the same time”. It’s the idea that as people on earth we’re actually part of something so much bigger which makes us special but we’re equally not that special. I also love the music video for the song; it clearly shows how much bigger the world and its beauty is around us, that we’re only small fragments of this beautiful world. 


This song blows my mind. It constantly makes me feel and think and I could easily listen to it over and over! In all honesty, it’s been my favourite song since I was about eighteen but it’s really only in the past year or so I started thinking about the meaning of the song more. I’m very passionate about it as you can probably tell! I also love how people can interprete the song in so many ways and learn from it too. It’s an amazing song, I strongly recommend everyone to listen to it if you haven’t already! 

Thoughts from a coffee shop

I don’t know what it is about coffee shops that just always influence my thoughts positively. I’m currently sitting, alone, in Insomnia (drinking a chai latte because they’re my favourites) just watching the world go by. I’ve had a long, few hours of lectures; it’s raining, cold but I’m really enjoying this little ‘me-time’…

I’m an introvert. I really enjoy my own company, I could easily spend a whole day on my own but a few days on my own and I do get rather lonely. I think everyone needs a little human interaction now and again regardless of being introverted. I feel really comfortable in public spaces where I can listen to my music, watch people around me and just think to myself about life. My favourite song is called ‘Holocene‘ by a band named Bon Iver, it’s definitely the kind of song that really makes you think and feel. I suppose, I love it because of its message to find the significance in the insignificance around you, interprete that as you will.

I have two very different views of the song. Firstly, I love to think that anyone can find meaning in the little things around them; that you can discover the significance of seemingly insignificant things. I’m sitting here in a coffee shop and yes, it’s not exciting but it’s warm and I feel very content in my own space. There’s significance in me having this little time alone, I don’t need to fill everyday with adventures and with friends because life can be good without constant excitement! Then, on the other hand, I like the idea of finding the significance of nature around me. Wildflowers are beautiful but people seem to pass by them so easily, not even stopping to consider how gorgeous they are.


I’m from the countryside, there’s a lot of animals, trees, etc… I love going for walks near my house and seeing and hearing the little things around me. There’s a lot of things people easily overlook, they never take notice of the simply beautiful pieces of nature around us. Again, there’s significance in these seemingly insignificant parts of the world!

It’s obvious how much tiny little moments or things are overlooked when you finally stop to think about it. Spend a little time to yourself and find the significance in the insignificant, find your coffee shop on a rainy day or your buttercup in a field of grass!!

Inspire me!

I’m trying to put a little more commitment into my blog now as I’m no longer working full time and I feel like I’ll enjoy the opportunity to put my thoughts to paper (or to blog post) a little more! If I can try to post weekly or as near to it as possible I’ll be very, very happy. So if you’re reading this and would like to throw a few ideas my way, please do 🙂

I like to be inspired because a lot of the time I struggle to come up with something I actually want to talk about! So if you want to hear about a topic from me, a very, unexciting, twenty-two year old throw them my way or if you want to hear more from me about something I’ve discussed already just let me know!? 

Thanks 🙂