I don’t like saying goodbyes.
I’ve come to realise in the last few years that goodbyes usually mean things are never going to be the same again. Like leaving school for the last time, or finishing college, or even moving to a new place of employment…. every time you move onto a new chapter you leave people and memories behind in the last chapter. In hindsight every time I say goodbye to a place I’m realistically saying goodbye to friendships. Of course you plan on staying in touch but from seeing these people everyday to rarely seeing them at all it becomes hard to maintain that same level of friendship; eventually things fizzle out.
In recent years, friendships scare me, possibly because it takes so long to properly build a bond with someone that by the time you become close it’s almost time to say goodbye. I’ve lost a lot of friendships in the last few years; I’ve jumped from chapter to chapter that now it’s become difficult to keep track of old friends. In September I begin a brand new chapter which sadly means having to say goodbye to friends and accept the fact, once again, that several of these people I love and adore will soon become people I share memories with but will eventually lose touch with. I’m terrified of starting again, of finding new people to bond with and create memories with just to once again lose touch with further down the line. Life is messy but I guess if we all just stayed in one place we’d get bored of people!!!
“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”
~ Winnie The Pooh