International Women’s Day

I’m a day late with this post but as you all know, yesterday was international women’s day, a day that’s significantly important for all of us 21st century women. This post is not so much about international women’s day though, I really want to complain about the absolute distasteful remarks made online. I was made really angry on Twitter reading the ridiculous amount of tweets by people, mostly men to be honest, questioning the need for women’s day and slamming feminism because they feel women have enough equality today. Because THEM, as men, don’t see the horrible treatment we receive as women. Because THEY don’t understand why we need to constantly fight to be treated right. As Bob Dylan’s song The Times they are a Changin’ goes “Don’t criticize what you can’t understand” but then they don’t understand it and they don’t care either. There’s so many reason’s women need feminism. Not only are we fighting a fight for the millions of women who’ve gone before us, fighting to be heard but there’s so many things that still need changing for the millions of women that are yet to come.

I experience inequality on a regular basis. Just last week I had men shouting “SEXY, SEXY, SEXY” out of their car window as I waited for my bus. I don’t want to hear that. It’s not a compliment. It doesn’t make me feel good about myself. Instead I feel embarrassed, awkward and very, very self-conscious. In December, I was out in a nightclub with my best friend who I rarely see. We were ordering cocktails at the bar when I felt a strangers hand in between my bum, I swung around and told him to stop and then turned back to order my drinks. Not even two minutes later the same man did it once again and I don’t mean a gentle pinch or slap, he was full on groping me. I again turned back and told him to stop, this time he was laughing and blaming it on his friend like it was some funny joke. I turned around again, trying to order my drink when I once again felt his hand back there, I had to get the security guard who had a bit of a talk with him but of course, he didn’t get thrown out. This is just me, a twenty-two girl but this is a regular thing for girls all around the world. My sixteen year old sister gets called “TITS” by some boys in her class because she’s big chested, why is this okay? We need international women’s day because women STILL, CONSTANTLY, face inequality but yet there’s still some guys out there who think it doesn’t exist. That we just want more. I just want to be able to wait for a bus without getting shouted at by men in a car or be able to go for a few drinks with my friend without some man feeling like he has some sort of right to grope me and then think it’s a funny joke!

Happy (belated) International Women’s day to all the amazing women there is that constantly has to deal with these issues and so many more day by day. Women that constantly have to worry about things that might seem stupid to guys but are a regular occurrence for us. We deserve more than just ONE day, we deserve a life time of days that we can feel safe and unashamed of the bodies we were born in!




Images retrieved from Pinterest, HERE


Dirty Thoughts

Dirty. I am so dirty.

Filthy memories stuck to my skin.

Printed, for the world to see

I can’t be cleaned.

Sins, they’re tattooed

In my mind,

I’m unable to burn them to pieces.

They’re locked there, forever,

These Dirty thoughts,

A constant reminder,

Of a dirty past.

“What are you thinking?”

“What are you thinking?”

He asks,

Daring to challenge my thoughts.

It’s funny,

I can’t answer that.

I don’t know what I’m thinking

And I wouldn’t say what I was thinking even if I do know.

Do people ever say what they really think anyway?


I look at him,

Smile brightly

“Just study, I swear”

And he nods, relieved,

Turning back to read his book about religion

While I continue to stare blankly

Into space.



Image retrieved from Pinterest, here.

The happiest meal

I will lie down,

Let the roots of the past destroy me

And wither away into the ground,

Allowing the earth to feed off my naked body

And eat the goodness of my flesh,

The happiest meal.


I don’t deserve to live here,

My bones, they belong to the world that gave them being.

They can disintegrate,

Becoming one with each other

And then you can walk

Along my eternal home.

My 30 before 30

I don’t usually do these kind of lists but I seen this around and really wanted to do one. I’m coming up on 23 in the next few months (May to be exact) and really like the idea of setting some goals, little aspirations for myself over the next few years. While 30 feels like a long, long time away (I wish it was further away but oh well) I think it’s a good target to hit. Seven years ago I was 15 and let me tell you, 15 year old Rachel was even more emotional and insecure than 22 year old Rachel. She had a constant need to be loved by everyone and the idea of people potentially disliking her drove her into fits of tears and there really was a lot of tears. Now, while the current Rachel still has a ridiculous need to feel loved by everyone she meets and always wants to please, she’s a bit more understanding that it’s not possible and she no longer gets upset every time she thinks someone dislikes her. I know at 30 I’ll have evolved that bit more and I’m constantly proud of my growth, I have so many things planned and I know that now is really only the beginning of it all; so here is my list of 30 things I want to do and/or achieve by 30 🙂


Get a 2.1 in my MA – While I’m almost there in completing my masters degree and have a current 2.1 average, I really, really want to graduate with a 2.1 which if you asked me a year ago I probably wouldn’t have imagined possible. This one is definitely not a long term goal as I want to achieve it this year!!


See Bon Iver in concert – I really need this to happen! I will listen in absolute awe throughout the whole concert and likely cry happy tears!


Get my driver’s license – I’m terrified of driving, like petrified! I’ve attempted learning to drive several times, having done something near to 26 lessons but I have a fear of just messing up and the endless possibilities that could happen! I had a crash when initially learning to drive 3 years ago and my Dad hit the windshield of the car, it was terrifying and I never want that to happen again, I also wrote off my lovely little Toyota Yaris. It really has created a fear of cars, in general, for me and I’ve become such an anxious passenger afterwards too but I know, eventually, I’ll have to get on with things and learn to drive. Definitely by the time I’m 30 I want to be able to drive around without having a constant fear of killing someone.


Buy a car – When I get my driver’s license and hopefully, this time I won’t smash it into a wall!


Have my own place – I don’t mind if I’m still renting but I really want to just have my own house. Right now I’m house sharing, I’m still a student though so it works out perfectly for my limited income but I’m hoping in the next few years I’ll be on enough money to afford a place of my own or potentially with a partner (let’s hope I’m not forever single still).


Continue learning sign language – Two years ago I did a basic Irish sign language course and I really loved it! Definitely want to do a follow up course in the near future.


Have a permanent job position – I know once I achieve my MA I’ll likely only cover contract work for a few years but I’m hoping by 30 I’ll get a nice, full-time, permanent position. Preferably outside of Dublin and in a public library (unless my target area changes).


Move outside Dublin, AGAIN – I’m from the west of Ireland. I’m used of the country and not having to constantly rely on public transport to get from A to B. While, I do really love Dublin and I’ve become very settled here in the last few months, I do see myself leaving it in the next few years. Rent is very expensive here, it’s difficult for me to travel back home to visit my family and I don’t like the reliance on public transport (I’ve developed a  passionate hatred for public transport since moving here). While, I don’t necessarily plan on moving back to my home county, I want to move closer to home; Galway or Limerick would be my first choice if I could pick any county to move to.


Volunteer  – I’ve always wanted to do some volunteer work but I haven’t had the time in recent years because I’ve been a full time student and working too so it’s been difficult! I’d love to do something for the homeless or elderly or maybe both if I can, they’re both communities I feel deserve some love and I’d feel really passionate about helping them.


Fall in love – CRINGE! I’m a hopeless romantic, don’t judge me! If things could work out as perfectly as I have pictured in my head I’d be happily married by 30 but these things don’t always happen so I’ll just keep my fingers crossed.


TRAVEL, TRAVEL, TRAVEL – I’m a home bird in so many ways, I couldn’t picture myself living anywhere in the world other than Ireland, Éire abú ❤ But, I want to travel and just do so much of it! I love nature, I really take note of the beauty around me and I think there’s so much beauty in the world to see. There’s so many places in Europe I want to travel to first but I would love to travel to a different continent too, I’ve never gone beyond western Europe!


Decorate my room to fit my character – My bedroom has always been super bland and I don’t think it highlights the type of person I am at all.


Be unemployed for at least 2 months – This might not sound like a good thing for some people but I’ve really wanted this for so many years! I’ve been working since the week I turned sixteen, I’ve never not been working since then and basically all through college I’ve had to work to afford pretty much anything I wanted which isn’t a bad thing and I’m so glad I did it but while in college I had so many friends who were lucky enough to not have jobs but still afford the college life style. Some of them were able to afford holidays abroad and usually had their summer and Christmas breaks while I always had to work full time during those precious breaks from study, I’m not going to lie but I was jealous of that freedom and while I had freedom in many other ways, I never felt I was able to enjoy it! Because I worked all through my education I never had those chances to attend music festivals and I’ve never gone on a holiday with a group of friends because I always had to work and my money I earned had to go towards my education. So I want to take a two month break once I’m financially secure and just have zero responsibilities!


Go on a holiday with friends – Like I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve never done this and I think I’d love to!


Lose weight – I’ve gained a good bit of weight in the past two years. While, I’m still not very heavy, I’m definitely at one of my heaviest and I don’t carry this extra weight well. I’d just like to drop down to my old dress size! I had a very unhealthy obsession with losing weight when I was 19 though, so I plan on doing this gradually and try not to obsess too much about it!!


Pick up an exercise –  This ties in with the last one but I’m terrible at sport and if I’m honest, I really hate most physical activity. My past-times really consist of not moving around too much so I think in order to try lose this extra weight I need to pick up some sort of exercise. I’m thinking of something dance related as I always loved Irish dancing when I was young.


Go to a Glastonbury – I’ve never been to a music festival and Glastonbury would just be my heaven!


Try learn piano AGAIN – So, I did piano lessons up until I was 16 and then after getting to grade 6 I decided to quit (because I was a really stupid 16 year old). I’ve regretted it ever since because as the years went by I’ve forgotten most of it and I’d really struggle to play things now. I can still read sheet music but just that ability to play is gone, so I’d love to just get some lessons again and see if I can pick up this instrument I love once again!!


Get my own cat – This is 100% the first thing I’m doing when I eventually get my own house. I want a male cat and his name will be Oliver or Leo and that’s it!!


Be able to afford nice things – Okay, this isn’t a necessity at all and it’s basically just something I hope might happen but it doesn’t need to. I’d say I have a bit of an expensive taste, I like nice clothes, make-up and I enjoy going out for nice dinners with friends but I can never afford it and I know I’m only 22 and a student but I just hope at some point I might be able to treat myself to a few nice things without running out of money by the end of the month.


Bring my Mom on a holiday – This is kind of relating to the idea of having money to do nice things but I’d love a girls holiday with my Mom and maybe my two sisters! We’ve gone on family holidays before but my Mom really wants to go away for a few nights with just the girls and I’d love to be able to do this!


Start reading more regularly –  I’ve always been a really avid reader but in recent years I find I never have the time or energy to commit to a book! I want to try read at least one book a month if I can!!


Learn to cook – I’m not saying I can’t cook at all but I’m not very good or ambitious with my cooking, I usually stick to the basics! My sisters love cooking and baking, while I’m so impatient when it comes to food that I hate the whole cooking progress. I want to try learn a few new dishes and maybe, actually learn to enjoy cooking!


Get a tattoo – Every year since I was about 17 I said I was going to get a tattoo and it still hasn’t happened yet. I’m afraid of needles so that puts me off but I do want to get at least one small tattoo in the next few years!


Win a poetry writing competition – This is pretty ambitious to say right now as I’ve only been writing poems frequently since last summer but I’ve grown a love for it, it’s probably the most therapeutic past-time of mine and I hope someday I might be good enough to win something that shows my efforts. I entered two competitions last month and while nothing will likely come of them, I wanted to just throw my name into the hat and see!!


Speak Irish more often – I have a hardcore grá for my country’s mother tongue! I used to be great at speaking it when I was in school because I was using it more frequently but it doesn’t come easily to me anymore. While, I can still understand it very well when it’s spoken to me, I have to really think about my reply before responding as the words don’t flow out of me naturally anymore, it’s really only down to my lack of use though! I’d love to become more of a frequent speaker and hopefully, I’ll gradually pick up that natural ability again!


Organise my dream house party – Okay, this one is just something I’ve always wanted to do! I love music, like really adore it! While I love mostly indie-folk and indie-rock stuff, I have a love for 70s and 80s music or music inspired by those eras, basically a lot of synth-pop music… it makes me happy and I always feel like dancing! I don’t think a lot of my friends would be into this to be honest but I plan to just have a very 70s inspired party with lots of fairy lights and just get drunk and dance basically! Potentially for my 25th birthday!


Go to Disneyland Paris – Or Disney World in Florida, if I do ever happen to venture that far! I adore everything Disney and I was very disappointed during my one visit to Paris that I never got to go to Disneyland!!!


Go vegetarian (Maybe) – Okay, this one I keep swaying back and forth with. I’d really love to try it and especially as I’m not a big fan of most meat I don’t think I’d find it too difficult, except I really love fish so I could struggle there!! However, I tend to get very low in nutrients quite quickly, I’m always low in something and I fear that I give up something completely it might run me down even more but again, this could be a long-term goal and I’ll see how I am in a few years!!


Go to a women’s march – Because feminism is empowering!



There’s actually so many other things I’d love to do but I think these are the main 30 things I’d love to do by the time I’m 30! I actually might do a few more of these list type posts too because they’re fun and a nice break from the poems too. The featured image was retrieved from Pinterest (like all my images) and can be accessed here, thanks for reading ❤



Droopy eyed,

Slurred words,

Barely able to lift a limb,



I’ve forgotten how to sleep

Thoughts thrall through my brain

Every, living second

It never ends.

My eyes are closed,

And the world is dead

But I’m stuck,

Listening to the tap, tap, tapping

in my head.



Very, very tired.

Of all this nonsense.



Image retrieved from Pinterest, HERE